Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Eighteen . . .

Enigma
by Stormcat

Well . . . I sit here . . . in front of my house in the mountains. . . (a little tipsy) . . .
trying to find a way to mollify the reality of being alone . . . . .
I used to romanticize the life of living alone with nature and feeling the rawness . . . surviving the rawness . . . even embracing it!  
but I can't remember having had an intelligent conversation for all these years . . .
like you can only take so much redneck philosophy! . . . 
The woman who holds my heart, the one I would die for … (or  more importantly the one I would fiercely live for) just seems to be absent . . .
yet only she can permanently cure this Sisyphean loneliness . . .  I simply feel lost . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

So . . .  here I sit . . . in front of my home in the mountains . . . (a little more tipsy) . . .
and I notice the white pines growing atop the south hill, producing the shade necessary to allow the slope covered in thick pure moss, and I see the willow with its unruly haircut, giving me the feeling that its OK to go against the grain of social conformity, and here comes the turkey brood, 17 babies! the mother teaching them to follow her deep throated cluck in order to find their way back to security, and I watch the whitetail hop away as soon as they realize they are noticed, and the frogs come around to the house when the stream abates, and the phoebes sit on the branches and fly out again and again, mitigating the threatening insect invasion.

Yes . . .
I continue to sit here in front of my home in the mountains . . . (definitely tipsy now) . . . 
unable to ignore the overwhelming thought . . .
                                                          How can this Hell be so beautiful?



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3 comments:

  1. Loneliness pours out from this post ~ I would think the view is serene and brings solitude and comfort ~ But not having someone to share it with and have conversations can be terribly sad & lonely ~

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  2. I came over to this 'dark' side because of your comment on Grace's piece...outside the box.... and her willingness to reintro her piece. I do appreciate your comment on the usage of 'mainstay' references or cliche's. I like 'fresh', meaning; the usage of simple words vs non-colloquial but best utilized through syntax, rhythm, juxtapostion of thought in the content and in context vs adjectives, metaphors, analogies, meter and rhyme. All have their place but simple reaches more and seems fresher.

    I like this piece and your post because for a long time I've convinced myself of that...born alone-die alone, thingy...I took upon a 'solo' journey back in the early seventies reading much about the hindu and Tao teachings to learn about how one can accept being alone by way of releasing the self. This does not mean, and I agree with Grace and your comments that in order to appreciate the aesthetics if one chooses to, they must share with other eyes, other mind, other heart.

    Gracias for this. I wish to follow your blog

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  3. She may not be the right one Stormcat. The right one may well be someone that you do not expect at all. Thank you for coming to my blog. I enjoy your writing.

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